Fuck I cannot win for loosing. I am having a really hard day today but my wife and kiddo are worth it. I though we got past this, I thought I was proving myself. Now I'm extreemly depressed. I did nothing today, I actually got some work done and Kelly came home assuming I did wrong because I was upset. Now 2 hrs later sure enough I found another stash so im sticking it in my shoe and im not sure what to do. I cant believe there is anything left here but i guess ill put it up or toss it. Idk what to do.
Im clean but if i tell her i found somethinf she will start all over, at least if i hid and or choose to toss it we wont fight. I just want to stop fighting. I see her I see my wife here and there signs that shes still kelly. I feel like shes using the drungs and drinking as a way to justify me fucking up talking to other woman. I figure she out of everyone would know i could stop anything at the drop of a dime but she just dosent. I cannot seem to prove myself and now i have a delema because i was so upset i actually check everything again and found something ikd what to do fuck.
